Alright. I have realized that blogging would NEVER have taken off had the rest of the world been frozen in dial up time, like we are. No lambs yet but I have one ewe who is looking like she’ll go this weekend if not sooner.
The snow is melting – really melting. Although I’m sad to see it go (I’m a new skiing addict), I’m so excited about spring – garden, lambs, chicks, ducklings… all of it good. We’ve had sprouting in our seed starters for weeks now. I’m going to start the warmer weather crops this weekend – toms, peppers, etc. I was going to start them a while ago but we went away and then I just didn’t trust the weather. Now, even if we get a freak cold snap I should be fine. I am so excited as this year I’m growing most things from seed. I’m a sucker for transplants but I really want to get to the next level (did that sound as cheesy to you as it did to me?!). I want to be that much more self sufficient and lo – I will.
Interestingly, just yesterday I had an email from someone I spent one long weekend in training with but who I consider a dear friend. He is a shepherd and artist who gave up his well paid job at a university to be at home, painting and shepherding. No joke, this morning I said to J something about wanting to have the courage to do that and feeling so inspired by him. Today, I found out we are having massive cuts at work and I’m going to have the opportunity to explore my creative side a bit more. Now, before this gets chalked up to the economy, let me be plain – we’ve had no cuts. This is a result of poor management. I also have not lost my job, but others have and are going to and I am so very sad for them. I did share my hours with the one person I could (who would have gone from full time to barely part time). So, now I’m going to only work three days a week most weeks (I’ve been saying I would for two years and never had the courage to make it stick).
It is good but a bit scary too because of the financial responsibilities I have. I don’t want to dwell on that too much but it does freak me when I get these flashes of thinking about it. It would freak me much less had I not just had to finance a leave of absence from my job for surgery and bank roll myself for three months (with which we’re still playing catch up). But, then I think about what I want out of life, being home more, playing with lambs, gardening, knitting and all of that good stuff and I figure, that’s what matters so whatever. We’ll get through this and likely I will be happier for it. The downside is J and I were just looking at adding onto our property. Possibly, we still can if we are careful. We’re not making any snap decisions, just thinking both long term and more immediately. I’d love to have some good land, well crummy land but good for running sheep. We’d like to invest in some property with a plan to sell it when we want to retire since I don’t have a pension and his is a joke. So, we’ll watch prices and catch up with our finances and hope that we can still make that work.
The worst part is getting to tell people that there’s going to be cuts. And they’re going to feel it. We just hired two people and may have to lay them both off. That stinks beyond stinking – especially when it’s a mismanagement issue, not a cuts issue. A colleague and I will be taking over the telling. The one friend who had to start the ball rolling today was done. By the end of the day, this woman who makes the words strong and boundaried seem inadequate was worn out and exhausted and emotionally wrung out beyond anything I’d ever seen in her before. And that’s why I stay. Because although we have inept – albeit well meaning – management at the very top, those of us one rung down function as a team, support each other and care about each other and we will get through this together. I’m pretty sure that we’re not the only place going through this and functioning in this way but I’ve been around enough to know what a rare commodity it is to have coworkers you can trust and be frank with as well as having a good friendship that’s not injured by the times you have to be boundaried or disagree.
Wow. Too heavy for my brain today. I need to go and see if my lambs are coming.